Friday, August 22, 2008
I hate you, CBS.
So apparently, THIS:
Has been replaced by THIS:
I discovered this news early this morning when I got to work and had an email from Jon, who knows the depths of my love for Grissom. I don't even know what to say, other than there is a good chance CSI will have one less viewer this season. First Warrick, now Grissom? It's safe to say the hotness of the Las Vegas Crime Lab just went down by about eleventy million degrees.
I have NEVER liked Laurence Fishburne. Something about him freaks me out and he's not pretty like Grissom. In fact, he's kind of ass.
I don't even think Catherine Willows my TV girlfriend is enough to make me return. Seriously guys, I am so sad about this. I'm also pretty sure I should, I don't know, get a life or something. Don't judge me.
Has been replaced by THIS:
I discovered this news early this morning when I got to work and had an email from Jon, who knows the depths of my love for Grissom. I don't even know what to say, other than there is a good chance CSI will have one less viewer this season. First Warrick, now Grissom? It's safe to say the hotness of the Las Vegas Crime Lab just went down by about eleventy million degrees.
I have NEVER liked Laurence Fishburne. Something about him freaks me out and he's not pretty like Grissom. In fact, he's kind of ass.
I don't even think Catherine Willows my TV girlfriend is enough to make me return. Seriously guys, I am so sad about this. I'm also pretty sure I should, I don't know, get a life or something. Don't judge me.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Show yourselves.
I just want to say, if you are going to read my blog, leave me a comment. I am not smart enough to put some thing on here that will tell me who has been looking or how many. I'm lucky I can get a picture in here.
But seriously, I like comments, leave some.
But seriously, I like comments, leave some.
"Bonnie, you are wanted on the phone."
So this No TV thing is really helping to boost my blogging activity. The new DVR actually came today, but you would not even believe the amount of instructions this thing had. It's totally a boy job. I took one look, put it back in the box and asked Nick to do it tomorrow. Which sucks for tonight, but I am too tired to worry much about it right now.
Okay, here is something funny that happened this weekend. I have been laughing about it on and off since. The same night as my hellish introduction into the world of Polly Pocket, as mentioned on Bonnie's page, but which I am too stupid to link to, this happened.
As we were moving into the kitchen to check out the Pollies, Bonnie, my cousin who before this incident I always thought was kind of smart, sees THIS on the counter.
So Bonnie picks it up, and says to me, "is this your phone?" And she is serious. Nick and I, of course, were like "the hell?" And I said, "No, that's my car keys."
Now in all fairness, I feel I must point out that at the time, the key part was in, making it look like the picture on the left, not the one on the right. It was also 2:30 in the morning. But still, it's pretty damn tiny, and you know, has the VW logo on the side.
So the rest of the night, we kept picking up the car key and pretending to answer it, which was totally so hilarious at the time, but I am thinking might not be so funny now. Wait, it's still pretty funny even now, but I am nowhere near the level of hysteria I was right then.
Oh Bonnie, you silly girl. Thanks for making us laugh with that fabulous question and your Polly Pockets 101 course. It was great.
Okay, here is something funny that happened this weekend. I have been laughing about it on and off since. The same night as my hellish introduction into the world of Polly Pocket, as mentioned on Bonnie's page, but which I am too stupid to link to, this happened.
As we were moving into the kitchen to check out the Pollies, Bonnie, my cousin who before this incident I always thought was kind of smart, sees THIS on the counter.
So Bonnie picks it up, and says to me, "is this your phone?" And she is serious. Nick and I, of course, were like "the hell?" And I said, "No, that's my car keys."
Now in all fairness, I feel I must point out that at the time, the key part was in, making it look like the picture on the left, not the one on the right. It was also 2:30 in the morning. But still, it's pretty damn tiny, and you know, has the VW logo on the side.
So the rest of the night, we kept picking up the car key and pretending to answer it, which was totally so hilarious at the time, but I am thinking might not be so funny now. Wait, it's still pretty funny even now, but I am nowhere near the level of hysteria I was right then.
Oh Bonnie, you silly girl. Thanks for making us laugh with that fabulous question and your Polly Pockets 101 course. It was great.
I hate you Dish Network.
So I get home from my weekend trip Monday night, after what seemed like 1 million hours in the car. It's late, around 10 p.m. The regularly scheduled evening edition of the Piper Nicole show starts, the cat is going crazy, kids are talking, car needs to be unpacked, which I hate, clothes washed for work the next day, etc. You know the drill.
Well, I make my way into my bedroom to make the bed. Yes, I do it at night before I get in, I don't know. So I get in the bedroom and what do I hear but some whiny, screeching fan sound somewhere around the TV.
I check it out and it's my DVR receiver for my Dish Network. Not good. Panic starts to set in, my fingers start to go numb and my breathing becomes shallow. See, TV is my life.
I turn on the TV, which I can't even hear because the stupid noise the receiver is making is so loud and annoying, but the worst part is this...I press the DVR button to access my recordings and get some weird error message telling me that feature is not available and unplugging and replugging the receiver might or might not reset it. Whatever. With every electronic item I have ever owned when something goes wrong, the advice is always the same, unplug and replug, yet funny thing, it has never worked for me. And of course, it didn't this time either.
So because I am not doing anything at all, like trying to get Piper to settle down, or laundry or even trying to take a bath, I calll Dish Network Tech Support and random girl who answers the phone right off the bat tells me to unplug and plug. Sigh. Well, her luck isn't any better than mine, it doesn't work. More freaking on my part.
Random Tech Girl says they will send me out a new DVR, which I am thinking okay, that's good. But then it got bad. I asked her how long and she says 3 to 5 BUSINESS DAYS. Wait, what? That's forever! I can't watch TV at all and more importantly, I can't watch any of my recorded shows. This is really bad because I HATE HATE HATE Live TV. A lot.
I offer to pay for expedited shipping, preferrably overnight. Nope, can't get it here any faster, 3 to 5 business days it is. Now I ask you, this is the year 2008. We can get a man pregnant, make a car run on some stank oil from McDonalds, clone a damn sheep, but can't get a DVR from Texas to Utah in less than 3 to 5 business days??? My hell, this could take till next week!
My next plan is maybe I can just go to a Dish Network store here in town and give them my old one and get a new one. But no, that isn't how it works either.
But then it gets worse. Random Tech Girl informs me that I have lost all my recorded programs! And I had worked so hard on this. I lost all my Seinfelds, all my Law and Order, the Season Finale of CSI which I hadn't even watched yet, my favorite movie The Wedding Singer, all of it. I have to start over. I'm so bummed.
And so far this week, I have missed The Office, a ton of Law and Order, a ton of Seinfeld and if it isn't here tomorrow, I will miss the start of the Olympics.
This has been quite traumatic for me. I love getting Piper to sleep and watching TV until I fall asleep. So now I have been falling asleep really early every night, which I think just makes me more tired.
I am really happy Dish Network will replace the DVR for me at no cost, don't get me wrong, but seriously, I probably could have driven to Texas and picked it up faster than this.
It's been almost 3 full days, I am starting to feel like I might make it through, the withdrawals aren't as strong, at least not until I think about how many shows I am going to lose. There were things recorded on there that I have had since 2005 when I got Dish Network.
Anyway, just looking this over, I am wondering why I am thinking anyone reading this would even care, haha. So I am going to stop whining about this now and I guess just go to sleep.
Well, I make my way into my bedroom to make the bed. Yes, I do it at night before I get in, I don't know. So I get in the bedroom and what do I hear but some whiny, screeching fan sound somewhere around the TV.
I check it out and it's my DVR receiver for my Dish Network. Not good. Panic starts to set in, my fingers start to go numb and my breathing becomes shallow. See, TV is my life.
I turn on the TV, which I can't even hear because the stupid noise the receiver is making is so loud and annoying, but the worst part is this...I press the DVR button to access my recordings and get some weird error message telling me that feature is not available and unplugging and replugging the receiver might or might not reset it. Whatever. With every electronic item I have ever owned when something goes wrong, the advice is always the same, unplug and replug, yet funny thing, it has never worked for me. And of course, it didn't this time either.
So because I am not doing anything at all, like trying to get Piper to settle down, or laundry or even trying to take a bath, I calll Dish Network Tech Support and random girl who answers the phone right off the bat tells me to unplug and plug. Sigh. Well, her luck isn't any better than mine, it doesn't work. More freaking on my part.
Random Tech Girl says they will send me out a new DVR, which I am thinking okay, that's good. But then it got bad. I asked her how long and she says 3 to 5 BUSINESS DAYS. Wait, what? That's forever! I can't watch TV at all and more importantly, I can't watch any of my recorded shows. This is really bad because I HATE HATE HATE Live TV. A lot.
I offer to pay for expedited shipping, preferrably overnight. Nope, can't get it here any faster, 3 to 5 business days it is. Now I ask you, this is the year 2008. We can get a man pregnant, make a car run on some stank oil from McDonalds, clone a damn sheep, but can't get a DVR from Texas to Utah in less than 3 to 5 business days??? My hell, this could take till next week!
My next plan is maybe I can just go to a Dish Network store here in town and give them my old one and get a new one. But no, that isn't how it works either.
But then it gets worse. Random Tech Girl informs me that I have lost all my recorded programs! And I had worked so hard on this. I lost all my Seinfelds, all my Law and Order, the Season Finale of CSI which I hadn't even watched yet, my favorite movie The Wedding Singer, all of it. I have to start over. I'm so bummed.
And so far this week, I have missed The Office, a ton of Law and Order, a ton of Seinfeld and if it isn't here tomorrow, I will miss the start of the Olympics.
This has been quite traumatic for me. I love getting Piper to sleep and watching TV until I fall asleep. So now I have been falling asleep really early every night, which I think just makes me more tired.
I am really happy Dish Network will replace the DVR for me at no cost, don't get me wrong, but seriously, I probably could have driven to Texas and picked it up faster than this.
It's been almost 3 full days, I am starting to feel like I might make it through, the withdrawals aren't as strong, at least not until I think about how many shows I am going to lose. There were things recorded on there that I have had since 2005 when I got Dish Network.
Anyway, just looking this over, I am wondering why I am thinking anyone reading this would even care, haha. So I am going to stop whining about this now and I guess just go to sleep.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
A few things I don't love...
1. CUSTOMERS. OF SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS COMPANY I WONT NAME FOR FEAR OF LEGAL ACTION.
Seriously, just shut the hell up. Screaming at me, calling me names, swearing at me and telling me you hope my house burns down and everyone I love is inside just isn't going to make me want to bend over backwards to remove that $1.25 directory assistance call that NO ONE at your house made.
It's amazing how many millions of people have long distance charges that miraculously they know nothing about. Sure, I totally understand how all those collect calls WHICH NO ONE ACCEPTED show up on your bill. Especially when I can see that said collect calls lasted 25 minutes. Oh yes, I know, NO ONE IS HOME AT YOUR HOUSE ever at the exact time those collect calls were made, so of course NO ONE COULD ACCEPT THEM. Funny how those collect calls work though. As in, THEY DON'T, AT ALL, unless someone accepts them.
If you even knew how many calls I take a week about the phantom long distance bandits, you would totally feel like a big old jackass for even trying to get away with that. Hell, at least try and think up a new story. That way you just might get some credits for being fabulous. Okay, no, you won't. Just kidding. But stop it, it's gay.
2. WHEN YOU SEE A CHARGE LABELED "FEDERAL TAX", IT'S SAFE TO GO AHEAD AND ASSUME THE FEDERAL FREAKING GOVERNMENT IS CHARGING YOU.
I know, I know. Living in America and all, it's hard to imagine the Federal Government taxing you for things. Like services. And purchases. It's mind boggling.
Of course, I could just ignore the fact that you JUST DROPPED IN FROM MARS, and therefore are struggling with the idea of taxes, but sometimes I find the strength within myself to try and explain that federal and state taxes are voted on by the constituency of said state, but I can only hear so many times, "But, I didn't vote!" before my skin gets all rashy and I start to eat my own hair.
You didn't vote? Then just shut your damn cakehole.
And for the record, I cannot anyway anyhow remove FEDERAL taxes. Seriously, if I had that superpower do you really think I would be wasting my time and my considerable talents doing this for a living?"
3. AH, THE DREADED 900/976 CHARGES.
Actually, these are almost my favorite calls and it's a shame I don't get them more often. Yes, Customer, of course I understand that your husband/son/nephew/dog/whatever would NEVER EVER do something like call a 900 number! So please, argue with me about it for a half hour or so while calling me names, letting me know that you know the company is trying to sneak these charges onto your bill, thinking you will be too embarrassed to call and dispute these naughty charges, but that you, the customer, are onto the company and they are not getting away with it while you are around.
But wait...Here's the dealy-o, Nancy Drew.
Those 900/976 people aren't so stupid. They record the FIRST THREE MINUTES of every single call made. So this means of course, that I get to transfer you to said 900 company and listen as you get your ass handed to you when you hear those first three minutes containing none other than the voice of blah blah Nasty McPervy Pants that would NEVER make that call. And then I laugh at you. And probably talk about you at break.
4. AND LAST, BUT OH MY GOSH, CERTAINLY NOT LEAST.
When you call to dispute charges and I explain them to you, at which point you go all crazy and screamy on me and tell me you are NOT paying, please, PLEASE don't ever assume that I really give a damn. Because I don't. If you don't pay your bill, guess what? I could not EVEN care less. It makes no difference to me, I get paid regardless. You aren't hurting me or even making me feel sad face when you say "well, I won't pay this." Again, who cares? It will be your service that gets disconnected, your butt that gets kicked to collections, your new car you won't be able to finance because you just had to show your ass. Again, me? DOES.NOT.CARE.
Okay, so I could literally go on for days. But I think I have most of it out of my system for now. I don't want to get too crazy because the people at this job are definitely a little more computer savvy than the fools that work at Lee's Marketplace and I don't want to get in trouble.
But there will be more....oh yes, there will be more.
Seriously, just shut the hell up. Screaming at me, calling me names, swearing at me and telling me you hope my house burns down and everyone I love is inside just isn't going to make me want to bend over backwards to remove that $1.25 directory assistance call that NO ONE at your house made.
It's amazing how many millions of people have long distance charges that miraculously they know nothing about. Sure, I totally understand how all those collect calls WHICH NO ONE ACCEPTED show up on your bill. Especially when I can see that said collect calls lasted 25 minutes. Oh yes, I know, NO ONE IS HOME AT YOUR HOUSE ever at the exact time those collect calls were made, so of course NO ONE COULD ACCEPT THEM. Funny how those collect calls work though. As in, THEY DON'T, AT ALL, unless someone accepts them.
If you even knew how many calls I take a week about the phantom long distance bandits, you would totally feel like a big old jackass for even trying to get away with that. Hell, at least try and think up a new story. That way you just might get some credits for being fabulous. Okay, no, you won't. Just kidding. But stop it, it's gay.
2. WHEN YOU SEE A CHARGE LABELED "FEDERAL TAX", IT'S SAFE TO GO AHEAD AND ASSUME THE FEDERAL FREAKING GOVERNMENT IS CHARGING YOU.
I know, I know. Living in America and all, it's hard to imagine the Federal Government taxing you for things. Like services. And purchases. It's mind boggling.
Of course, I could just ignore the fact that you JUST DROPPED IN FROM MARS, and therefore are struggling with the idea of taxes, but sometimes I find the strength within myself to try and explain that federal and state taxes are voted on by the constituency of said state, but I can only hear so many times, "But, I didn't vote!" before my skin gets all rashy and I start to eat my own hair.
You didn't vote? Then just shut your damn cakehole.
And for the record, I cannot anyway anyhow remove FEDERAL taxes. Seriously, if I had that superpower do you really think I would be wasting my time and my considerable talents doing this for a living?"
3. AH, THE DREADED 900/976 CHARGES.
Actually, these are almost my favorite calls and it's a shame I don't get them more often. Yes, Customer, of course I understand that your husband/son/nephew/dog/whatever would NEVER EVER do something like
But wait...Here's the dealy-o, Nancy Drew.
Those 900/976 people aren't so stupid. They record the FIRST THREE MINUTES of every single call made. So this means of course, that I get to transfer you to said 900 company and listen as you get your ass handed to you when you hear those first three minutes containing none other than the voice of blah blah Nasty McPervy Pants that would NEVER make that call. And then I laugh at you. And probably talk about you at break.
4. AND LAST, BUT OH MY GOSH, CERTAINLY NOT LEAST.
When you call to dispute charges and I explain them to you, at which point you go all crazy and screamy on me and tell me you are NOT paying, please, PLEASE don't ever assume that I really give a damn. Because I don't. If you don't pay your bill, guess what? I could not EVEN care less. It makes no difference to me, I get paid regardless. You aren't hurting me or even making me feel sad face when you say "well, I won't pay this." Again, who cares? It will be your service that gets disconnected, your butt that gets kicked to collections, your new car you won't be able to finance because you just had to show your ass. Again, me? DOES.NOT.CARE.
Okay, so I could literally go on for days. But I think I have most of it out of my system for now. I don't want to get too crazy because the people at this job are definitely a little more computer savvy than the fools that work at Lee's Marketplace and I don't want to get in trouble.
But there will be more....oh yes, there will be more.
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